This week I've been thinking about why change is so difficult.
I had been teaching classes at Piedmont Yoga Studio for 15 years...some of those years were fantastic and others were quite challenging. PYS has evolved through the years and lately it was much different than it had been when I started teaching there. I am a loyal, stick-with-it kind of girl, both personally and professionally. So, when it was time to say goodbye and walk away from my yoga home there was a lot of internal kicking and screaming going on.
I was invited to teach at The Yoga Room in Berkeley, all my classes could move there, same days and times. It was an amazing opportunity. I've been there now for 4 weeks. Transition done. Many, though not all of my students have made the trek to Berkeley. The room is big and gorgeous and well propped, and the business model is old school (much more conducive to making a living teaching yoga).
So, why did I hear myself saying (imagine the victim-ey tone), "well...it's going ok", when anyone asked about the transition? I asked myself the question this morning as I sat down to meditate, "why is change so hard?" and I listened for the answer.
"We fear change so much because it asks us to let go." It's like a little death. Even if we want it, or we asked for it...even if the current situation has us feeling small or unappreciated. We are so good at hanging on and so unskilled at letting go.
Letting go is a practice, and yoga supports this practice. We practice letting go of the out breath, the tension in our shoulders, the habitual hardness in our jaw. We let go of some of the forcing and pushing, and begin to notice when we are harsh with ourselves when we are afraid. We lie down in savasana...the ultimate practice of letting go. Each time we practice, we soften a little more. Each time we practice, we meet ourselves right where we are.
This afternoon an acquaintance asked me how the transition is going. I smiled and said, "It's fantastic and I feel so grateful," and then I took a deep breath and let it go. I miss PYS and I embrace the change and the challenge (at least in this moment :)